i'm so excited to be graduating!!

just kidding.

I am not graduating. Tomorrow is not my last day of classes, this is not the last paper I will write as an undergrad, it isn't my last time to have a sore hand from writing essays, nor is it my last chance to pull an all-nighter cram session. Shoot.

HOWEVER,
The impending doom of the rest of my life is not days away. I do not have to make life altering decisions right now, and I am not stepping out into unknown territory with bills, insurance, or setting up a 401k (whatever that is...).

As much fun as all that sounds, I'm not upset about not graduating with the rest of my class. I'm actually pretty stoked about what next year has to offer. The next 4 months are a big, exciting, open question mark. After that, I'll be back at school until I can convince someone to let me have a diploma. I would love to order my cap and gown, dream about what grad school to attend, or plan a move to a new, exciting place. Despite that, I do not regret the excurtions I have taken instead of "staying on track" with my "college career." I certainly wouldn't trade anything for knowing these precious babies.

thoughts on meeting your hero

Last weekend, I attended a conference in the lovely town of Monroe, MI. My hero and the woman I aspire to be was speaking, so I bought a (fairly expensive) ticket and went instead of working to make ca$hmoney or hanging out with friends who will soon be living in far away states :(

I've heard many times throughout my life that it is not a good idea to meet your hero. I assumed this was because you would be disappointed by him or her. Maybe he won't look the way you imagine or maybe she will not be as real as you think or maybe he'll be rude and treat you like an annoying fan. On my drive to the conference, I was very afraid that I wasn't smart or holy or special enough to meet her.

The thing is, when you meet your hero, you find out she is real. A real human being like you with faults, wrinkles, and chocolate cravings. This realization of her humanity was quite unfortunate but also very healthy for my ego. This is because I am also a human being who has the ability to do what my hero does... except I'm not doing it.
She is not special, and I am not special. Ouch!

She lives in Afrika and sees miracles almost daily. Food multiplies, the sick are healed, and the dead rise. I live in Michigan, and I go to class, eat salad, and hang out with ma frendz (thank you Rebecca Black for making me think of your song every time I say "my friends"). Meeting my hero was disappointing. Not because who she is, what she said, or how she acted, but because it made me realize that I am just as capable to do the things she does... but I'm not.

If we believe what the Bible says is true, then Jesus did amazing things while he was here. He turned water in to wine, multiplied food to feed thousands, raised the dead, healed the sick, walked on water, and more. The scary/amazing/comforting/hopeful/intimidating thing is: according to John 14:12, we are supposed to be doing even greater things than these.

all dogs go to heaven

Yesterday was a really bad day; we lost an important part of our family. Sammy’s cancer came back and we had to put her down. Cancer plays dirty. It has been a great 13 years, and I will miss her so much. Rest in peace, puppy girl, rest in peace.



If you’re saying to yourself “oh, come on. She was just a dog!” then you should stop reading this now, and we probably should never talk again.

I went to a lovely human funeral last weekend. By "lovely" I don't mean it was enjoyable, but it was peaceful. The woman was old, and she had lived a respectable life.
My perception of death is ever-changing, sometimes daily, and often multidimentional. When my grandma died, death was the more desirable option compared to the current reality. Alzheimer's is a bitch. But sometimes, especially when you're not expecting it, death is a horrible and painful surprise.

I don't have anything new or exciting to say about the subject. I just think death is so scary and sad because it's so final and unknown. No one actually knows what happens when we die. Of course it's a part of the human condition to speculate, but that's just speculation.

I've been thinking about death a lot lately. Not in a morbid way, but ever since Rob Bell's book Love Wins became such a big deal and people started freaking out even before the book was released, I've been trying to figure out what I believe. My trust that God is love and ultimately good leads me to believe that death isn't supposed to be scary. I believe we'll be okay. Whether what we do in life is reflected or continued in death seems to be the same idea. However, what I do believe is that while we're here, we're supposed to bring heaven crashing into earth. By that, I mean we are supposed to bring love, grace, justice, and peace HERE and NOW. Hell already exists, and "we see it everyday" in the form of war, famine, hate, and oppression.

Losing a beloved pet is not easy, but I think we can learn a lot about life and death from them. They spend their entire lives loving everyone they meet without condition.

Sammy treated me with unconditional love everyday, and I will miss her so much.

playstation and the human psyche

We spent Thanksgiving with our family in Tennessee. Throughout the week, my nine year old cousin sat in front of the tv, entranced by the war-related Playstation game he was playing. Although I made it clear that I'd prefer he play outside instead of (a little too realistically) murdering people, I could not convince him to step away. Instead, I sat with him and watched him play his game.
Though he generally ignored me, I intentionally drilled him with questions- if only to pretend we were bonding... and to see how much he really understood about what he was doing. At one point, our "conversation" went as follows:

me: why are you killing all of those people?
Logan: because they're evil!
me: how do you know they are evil?
Logan: because they're against me!

Huh.
They're evil because they're against me. At first, it may sound extremely childish and silly, but after a moment of reflection, doesn't it sound a little too familiar? Whether it's an acquaintance with opposing political views or the ex-friend who made a selfish mistake.
Or Perhaps it runs deeper. Maybe it's the person on the other side of the world who has been labeled a terrorist because of what people with her skin tone did.

Thank you, Logan. Thank you for summarizing the tragedy of the human psyche so simply and eloquently.

They're evil because they're against me. That statement is painfully ignorant, and yet we continue living like we believe it. I think it's time to believe something else. Maybe something a little more positive... a little more truthful? Let's begin by loving each other more, despite what it costs us.

We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19



Yep, my shirt is awesome. It's from www.heytee.org. Go there, buy stuff, and help rebuild Haiti one tee at a time!

Haiti

(I apologize for the fact that it has taken me so long to post this)

Well, I came back from Haiti a month and a half before my original scheduled return. Ultimately, we had to make the difficult decision to come back early because we felt as though our safety was at risk. It was not how I wanted or expected to end this adventure, but I trust in God’s good plan.

As for what it was like in Haiti, I believe these pictures speak for themselves. Keep in mind that the first, and largest, earthquake occurred on January 12th… more than 9 months before these pictures were taken.





This woman's foot was crushed during the earthquake and had to be amputated.


We distributed food and hygiene supplies to people still in tent cities. It is estimated that 1.3 million people are still living in make shift "tents" out of sheets and sticks.


This graffiti of a weeping Haiti is tagged all over the city.


Once again, I find myself trying to sort through feelings of guilt and sorrow for the people I have left behind while maintaining a thankfulness for my world here in America. How do you continue to live when so many die unnecessarily? How do I move on knowing what I’ve seen? More importantly, how do I help those who continue to suffer?

In the 1950’s a man named Everett Swanson was visiting a friend in Korea immediately after the Korean war. At the time, there were thousands and thousands of orphans left without parents or homes.

Everett Swanson saw children piled up in the doorways of homes, trying to stay warm. They were abused by the guards who tried to scatter them because they were a nuisance. Everett watched as a guard picked up a child by the wrist and ankles and threw them into the back of a truck.
He said to his friend, “No one, no matter how small, should be treated this way.” And he wept for the children.
His friend looked at him and said, “Now that you’ve seen, what will you do?”

Now that you’ve seen, what will you do?

NOW THAT YOU’VE SEEN, WHAT WILL YOU DO?

Everett Swanson returned to the United States and started Compassion International. This organization is now reaching one million of the poorest children in 25 countries.

Now that I’ve seen, what will I do?

Honestly, I don’t know yet. And it kills me not to do something about it. I don’t know how to return to normal life here in America- and even more honestly, I don’t want to. And I don’t think I have to. I don’t want live comfortably here when so many live in misery there, so I won’t. (…by “there”, I don’t just mean Haiti, but all over the world where people are struggling to survive)

I don’t have a plan yet, but that doesn’t mean I have given up on the people. Sure, I could put something together haphazardly, but I’m waiting for God’s better plan- his more powerful, more divine, more excellent plan. In the meantime, please join me in prayer. For both them and us.



As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteous deeds, of your saving acts all day long- though I know not how to relate them all. I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, Sovereign Lord. I will proclaim your righteous deeds, yours alone. Since my youth, God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. 
Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, until I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come. Psalm 71:14-18

Go here and buy cool stuff: http://heytee.org/
Help rebuild Haiti one tee at a time.

Nakupenda (I love you), Kenya

“Adventure is a path. Real adventure — self-determined, self-motivated, often risky — forces you to have firsthand encounters with the world. The world the way it is, not the way you imagine it. Your body will collide with the earth and you will bear witness. In this way you will be compelled to grapple with the limitless kindness and bottomless cruelty of humankind — and perhaps realize that you yourself are capable of both. This will change you. Nothing will ever again be black-and-white.” -Mark Jenkins

2 Little Monkeys

Jeremiah and Julia are the best of friends.



They talk about each other when they’re not together; “Miah” is one of Julia’s favorite words, and Jeremiah loves to yell out, “Lulie!” throughout the day. They fight like brother and sister two-year-olds, which is a lot of fun for me to when I’m trying to teach them not to hit…



And they absolutely love exploring places where they’re not supposed to be. For example, if they’re ever missing, I immediately check the kitchen and bedrooms (when we’re inside) or the gate and goat pens (when we’re outside).





They are so funny, and I absolutely love hanging out with them. I call them little monkeys because that is exactly what they are. They are such busy little toddlers, and they’re always into everything.



As much as I love chasing them around, I have to admit that it is nice when naptime rolls around…