all dogs go to heaven

Yesterday was a really bad day; we lost an important part of our family. Sammy’s cancer came back and we had to put her down. Cancer plays dirty. It has been a great 13 years, and I will miss her so much. Rest in peace, puppy girl, rest in peace.



If you’re saying to yourself “oh, come on. She was just a dog!” then you should stop reading this now, and we probably should never talk again.

I went to a lovely human funeral last weekend. By "lovely" I don't mean it was enjoyable, but it was peaceful. The woman was old, and she had lived a respectable life.
My perception of death is ever-changing, sometimes daily, and often multidimentional. When my grandma died, death was the more desirable option compared to the current reality. Alzheimer's is a bitch. But sometimes, especially when you're not expecting it, death is a horrible and painful surprise.

I don't have anything new or exciting to say about the subject. I just think death is so scary and sad because it's so final and unknown. No one actually knows what happens when we die. Of course it's a part of the human condition to speculate, but that's just speculation.

I've been thinking about death a lot lately. Not in a morbid way, but ever since Rob Bell's book Love Wins became such a big deal and people started freaking out even before the book was released, I've been trying to figure out what I believe. My trust that God is love and ultimately good leads me to believe that death isn't supposed to be scary. I believe we'll be okay. Whether what we do in life is reflected or continued in death seems to be the same idea. However, what I do believe is that while we're here, we're supposed to bring heaven crashing into earth. By that, I mean we are supposed to bring love, grace, justice, and peace HERE and NOW. Hell already exists, and "we see it everyday" in the form of war, famine, hate, and oppression.

Losing a beloved pet is not easy, but I think we can learn a lot about life and death from them. They spend their entire lives loving everyone they meet without condition.

Sammy treated me with unconditional love everyday, and I will miss her so much.

playstation and the human psyche

We spent Thanksgiving with our family in Tennessee. Throughout the week, my nine year old cousin sat in front of the tv, entranced by the war-related Playstation game he was playing. Although I made it clear that I'd prefer he play outside instead of (a little too realistically) murdering people, I could not convince him to step away. Instead, I sat with him and watched him play his game.
Though he generally ignored me, I intentionally drilled him with questions- if only to pretend we were bonding... and to see how much he really understood about what he was doing. At one point, our "conversation" went as follows:

me: why are you killing all of those people?
Logan: because they're evil!
me: how do you know they are evil?
Logan: because they're against me!

Huh.
They're evil because they're against me. At first, it may sound extremely childish and silly, but after a moment of reflection, doesn't it sound a little too familiar? Whether it's an acquaintance with opposing political views or the ex-friend who made a selfish mistake.
Or Perhaps it runs deeper. Maybe it's the person on the other side of the world who has been labeled a terrorist because of what people with her skin tone did.

Thank you, Logan. Thank you for summarizing the tragedy of the human psyche so simply and eloquently.

They're evil because they're against me. That statement is painfully ignorant, and yet we continue living like we believe it. I think it's time to believe something else. Maybe something a little more positive... a little more truthful? Let's begin by loving each other more, despite what it costs us.

We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19



Yep, my shirt is awesome. It's from www.heytee.org. Go there, buy stuff, and help rebuild Haiti one tee at a time!

Haiti

(I apologize for the fact that it has taken me so long to post this)

Well, I came back from Haiti a month and a half before my original scheduled return. Ultimately, we had to make the difficult decision to come back early because we felt as though our safety was at risk. It was not how I wanted or expected to end this adventure, but I trust in God’s good plan.

As for what it was like in Haiti, I believe these pictures speak for themselves. Keep in mind that the first, and largest, earthquake occurred on January 12th… more than 9 months before these pictures were taken.





This woman's foot was crushed during the earthquake and had to be amputated.


We distributed food and hygiene supplies to people still in tent cities. It is estimated that 1.3 million people are still living in make shift "tents" out of sheets and sticks.


This graffiti of a weeping Haiti is tagged all over the city.


Once again, I find myself trying to sort through feelings of guilt and sorrow for the people I have left behind while maintaining a thankfulness for my world here in America. How do you continue to live when so many die unnecessarily? How do I move on knowing what I’ve seen? More importantly, how do I help those who continue to suffer?

In the 1950’s a man named Everett Swanson was visiting a friend in Korea immediately after the Korean war. At the time, there were thousands and thousands of orphans left without parents or homes.

Everett Swanson saw children piled up in the doorways of homes, trying to stay warm. They were abused by the guards who tried to scatter them because they were a nuisance. Everett watched as a guard picked up a child by the wrist and ankles and threw them into the back of a truck.
He said to his friend, “No one, no matter how small, should be treated this way.” And he wept for the children.
His friend looked at him and said, “Now that you’ve seen, what will you do?”

Now that you’ve seen, what will you do?

NOW THAT YOU’VE SEEN, WHAT WILL YOU DO?

Everett Swanson returned to the United States and started Compassion International. This organization is now reaching one million of the poorest children in 25 countries.

Now that I’ve seen, what will I do?

Honestly, I don’t know yet. And it kills me not to do something about it. I don’t know how to return to normal life here in America- and even more honestly, I don’t want to. And I don’t think I have to. I don’t want live comfortably here when so many live in misery there, so I won’t. (…by “there”, I don’t just mean Haiti, but all over the world where people are struggling to survive)

I don’t have a plan yet, but that doesn’t mean I have given up on the people. Sure, I could put something together haphazardly, but I’m waiting for God’s better plan- his more powerful, more divine, more excellent plan. In the meantime, please join me in prayer. For both them and us.



As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteous deeds, of your saving acts all day long- though I know not how to relate them all. I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, Sovereign Lord. I will proclaim your righteous deeds, yours alone. Since my youth, God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. 
Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, until I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come. Psalm 71:14-18

Go here and buy cool stuff: http://heytee.org/
Help rebuild Haiti one tee at a time.

Nakupenda (I love you), Kenya

“Adventure is a path. Real adventure — self-determined, self-motivated, often risky — forces you to have firsthand encounters with the world. The world the way it is, not the way you imagine it. Your body will collide with the earth and you will bear witness. In this way you will be compelled to grapple with the limitless kindness and bottomless cruelty of humankind — and perhaps realize that you yourself are capable of both. This will change you. Nothing will ever again be black-and-white.” -Mark Jenkins

2 Little Monkeys

Jeremiah and Julia are the best of friends.



They talk about each other when they’re not together; “Miah” is one of Julia’s favorite words, and Jeremiah loves to yell out, “Lulie!” throughout the day. They fight like brother and sister two-year-olds, which is a lot of fun for me to when I’m trying to teach them not to hit…



And they absolutely love exploring places where they’re not supposed to be. For example, if they’re ever missing, I immediately check the kitchen and bedrooms (when we’re inside) or the gate and goat pens (when we’re outside).





They are so funny, and I absolutely love hanging out with them. I call them little monkeys because that is exactly what they are. They are such busy little toddlers, and they’re always into everything.



As much as I love chasing them around, I have to admit that it is nice when naptime rolls around…

What’s for dinner?

Here in Kenya, an appropriate answer to that question might be, “ROCKS.”

Okay, even though I’ve never actually been served rocks for dinner, they are eaten here on a fairly normal basis.

Sara and I went with Irene to an open market on Monday (which is a blog post on its own!) to do the weekly vegetable and fruit shopping for the baby house. Along with tomatoes, onions, cabbage and papaya, we also bought a bag of rocks… and I’m not joking.



Because I had heard that these rocks were for pregnant women to eat, I immediately asked who in the house. A bit embarrassed, Irene explained to us that they were an easy and cheap way of getting enough iron when they can’t afford to eat sufficient meat or beans. Kenyan women will literally crave these rocks, but only if they have low iron. They are essentially a very natural, cheap, and unhealthy vitamin supplement.



And of course I tried them. They taste like a mixture of dirt and chalk, and basically disintegrate in your mouth. I think I'll stick to my Women's One-a-Day...

Just a Couple of Kids

So last week, Sara, Melissa (two college girls who are doing similar internships at other orphanages in Kenya) and I walked to Nakuru town for the day.

While there, we got hit on by too many Kenyan men of all ages. Including a man who asked Sara on a “walk” and ended up getting more than he bargained for when she used the opportunity to evangelize to him, TIK.

We went to the fabic store, supermarket, post office, bank, forex, open souvenir market, curio shop, and visited the DVD man. We ate lunch and then decided to go get our nails done “in the park”. I had heard about this service from the girls at the baby house. They had such cool designs on their toes, and when I inquired about it, they told me it only cost 50 shillings! That is equivalent to about 60 cents…for a pedicure. I was obviously not going to pass up this good of deal, although maybe I should have…

The “park” ended up being a small patch of grass behind the main matatu (public transport) station. This “park” also ended up being home to most of the homeless glue-sniffers in Nakuru. The city is known for their street boys, and apparently this is where they gather. We were immediately bombarded by people selling anything and everything you can imagine. It was clear that wazungus (white people) do not frequent the area often. I grabbed one of the nail palettes and demanded that we would pay only 50 shillings. A few men agreed and escorted us to a place where we could sit. After the men were finished cleaning our muddy feet and painting our dirty toenails, a few of them offered us their piercing and tattoo services, which were very difficult to turn down, lol. We were followed out of the park by a couple of street boys offering to carry our bags for us. In order to avoid them following us all the way home, we opted to take piki pikis ☺
As most of you know, piki pikis are my very favorite, and it was Melissa’s first time to ride on! It was a crazy, funny, frustrating, strange, exciting, busy, and overall great day.